Arctic King Crab, wild garlic, cucumber, heirloom tomatoes

I've never had smoked eel before and wanted to try. I knew it was a bit of a risk, but I thought it might be something like the river lampreys that we eat in Finland, which are snakelike and horrible looking, but just heavenly. They give you an almighty heartburn though, and gas to men, not to girls cause girls don't fart, but it's all worth it. They say the best way to catch them is to lower a dead body (preferably mother-in-law or other unpopular personage) to the river and use that as bait. The fish attach themselves to the corpse with their jawless mouths to suck on the body. Yes, delicious. Then you just lift the body up and pick the lampreys off it, roll them in sea salt to get the blood out, rinse and cook on an open alder fire and Bob's your uncle. Unless it was Bob you used as bait in which case we'll use past tense.

So the smoked eel. My scandinavian tastebuds can take a lot of smokiness, but this was hard core. I assume smoked eel doesn't get better than this, so that means I won't have to try it again. I finished it all and enjoyed it in a weird unreplicable way. But it was just too salty and strong a taste for me. And the texture. Kinda slimy. The granny smith balls were very cute though.

Smoked eel, cauliflower, lemon, granny smith apple

My last dish was the scallops in Thai broth. Scallops were great, but the broth was what it was all about. I could drink it by the gallon or bathe in it. It wasn't particularly hot with chilli, which might make the bathing uncomfortable. It was beautifully fragrant, silkily creamy and perfect. Thank God there was a spoon on the table otherwise I would have drunk it off the plate which would have been a bit ill-bred taking into account the surroundings. Although it is quite a relaxed atmosphere, not starchy or pretentious. Still not the place for licking plates.

Scallops, purple sprouting broccoli, Thai broth

Four course seafood, duck and lamb menu

Husband chose two fish and two meat dishes. He was very pleased with his first dish of seafood filled dumplings which I didn't try. I was in shock with the size of my sushi dish so didn't dare even try any of his.

Dumplings with lobster, tiger prawns and salmon

The dover sole was maybe not exactly ground breaking, I had a little taste. Beautifully presented and cooked, but not the same flavour sensation as the other dishes. I think the foam of wet garlic was a bit of a waste of time. I'm not a massive fan of foamed food.

Dover sole, cockles, wet garlic, peas and broad beans

The duck was soft and beautiful. I didn't try the leg, but the breast was perfect.

Duck breast, braised leg, girolles, wild garlic

The dish that husband was most waiting for was the lamb. Unfortunately he was really stuffed by the time he got to it. Valiantly he finished it off though and loved it. I tried a bit of the cannon and it was wonderful.

Cannon of lamb, lamb belly, confit jersey royals, mint sauce

We had a lovely night of fantastic food, very attentive service and in the end the small cute gesture of bringing us a little cake with Happy Anniversary written in chocolate on the plate was a lovely way to end the evening.

Oh, wines. I'm sure the wine list is unbelievable, there were wines at £90 for a 125ml glass. I am not a huge connoisseur, so to me that seems a bit pricey. You can get six 3 litre boxes from Morrisons for that price. And you get Match&More points and you might get a £5 off voucher as well. I didn't say this to the sommelier, but I went with a slightly more modest but stylish choice of St Emilion grand cru red for husband and a South-African Thelema Sutherland Sauvignon Blanc for myself.

Would I pay well over £200 pounds of my own money for a meal for two? Fuck no. Sorry, but I had to say fuck. Twice. It is a post about Gordon Ramsay after all.

Was the food amazing and would I go again if a business partner felt that working with me was so much fun that they wanted to present me with a voucher? In a flash!